Deep into the Weeds
Time to get real: the past six months have been life changing for me.
I don't want to share more details quite yet other than it was a constant struggle. I had to keep diving into the dark parts to heal the wounds inside of me that got me to that point in my life. I mended, cried, laughed, slept, transmuted, journaled, and loved myself deeper than I ever had before. I finally started to (slowly) feel like myself again but stronger - the cracks and wounds were starting to be filled with gold. I felt that bright light inside beaming brighter that I could have ever imagined. I was not only healing but finding the beauty in the dark and ugly parts. My 'dark night of the soul' taught me how important ALL cycles of life truly are: birth, life, death and re-birth.
Then, Autumn hit: the lack of sunlight mixed with the year's version of PMS. I, like most, wanted to do nothing. I was getting to a better place of knowing myself and being in a state of joy. But for the month of November, I avoided things that dug deep like journaling, yoga or meditation. And focused on airy fairy things like watching reruns of TV shows or just sleeping in on the weekends. I actually got pretty down and critical on myself for not continually 'doing the deep work'. But I realized after all those profound soul shifts and mountain moving - I needed that time to be a bum, zone out, and sleep even more to soak up and let my body process all the emotional and soul work that I had did months before.
Time for a rebirth: With all that being said, my promise to all of you is to continue share my teachings and tips not only on how to be your own guide but also my own roller coaster of a ride RN. It’s going to be raw and it’s not pretty at times, but not sharing this raw emotional tale is being almost a bit selfish. In sharing more of my story I hope it will inspire and shine light on your own journey. Because after this year, I've realized that in order to be true to myself, I'm going to have to just say 'fuck the shoulds' and instead share and do what feels right for me.